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Hi Sayang.
| Sunday, August 24 | 0 comments
  I love him a tad too much. He has hurt me a tad too much. But I still love him, more than he'd ever imagine. Do you see how much I care and love you? Do you see how much I don't want to let go? You said that you're confused ; you love me but at the same time you don't want me to get hurt. Am I right to quote you that way? That itself has given me the spirit to fight on, for you and for us. I've done way too many things with you (you should know what I mean). Ironic as it may sound, one of the happiest moments I have was the one last year, where it was 3 whole days spent with you. You showed me immense care, love and you said you were happy being with me. I ask you now, are you still happy when you see me? When I felt you nuzzling yourself against my cheek and stroking my cheek throughout the taxi ride, I wished that that would last forever. Just by doing those actions make me believe that you still love me. You said you are unsure of the feelings that you have for me. But I put it as you know that you care alot about me, but you're just confused as to whether you want to continue hurting me or not. The bottom line is the fact that you have to solve Her first. She's the root of the problem. If there was one less girl to think about, you'd find it easier to know your feelings towards me. You woke up in the middle of the night crying during your trip to Thailand. What does that tell me? I mean a lot to you, don't I? These past five years compared to the few months that you shared with Her, don't I deserve more than this? I'm willing to wait till you've end things with her, since that is what you told me that you would do from the start. Things may not be the same again, but i believe that through this, we'll come out stronger. I can't agree to your request of being friends cos it's a huge slap to me, knowing that I have to give you up as my boyfriend just so you can settle it with her. The longer you take, the more feelings you'll develop. She's a liar my dear. Please realise that. Only after you have end things with her, we can re-talk about that request. Your lifestyle, your problems, I have been experiencing it with you throughout the time I've known you. Maybe I'm not good enough to stop you from doing vices, but we can both strive to be better people. I'm not perfect, if i'm perfect, i would not even allow myself to see you. But I did. I allowed myself to love you. And you allowed yourself to love me. It's just a moment of folly with that girl. You told me that you don't want this as well. You told me "Sayang, don't leave. Please?" Maybe your definition of don't leave is "Leave as my gf, but dont leave me. be my friend" But to me, when you told me not to leave, I wont leave you. I will stick by you as your girlfriend. Maybe it's my fault for forcing you to end things with her and asking you who am I to you. But believe me, all this is done by me so that i know that you care. And you have proven that to me. You do care. you do love. She's just a one time thingy. And you know it sayang. Please dont hurt me further than this. You know that I can't leave you. And you know that you don't want me to leave, deep inside. you told me that a lot of times. The many crying sessions that I have only proves one thing - I Love You. It doesn't matter who has hurt me or make me cry, it's the one who makes me smile again that matters most. The irony is that, you were the one who hurt me, but you're the one who made me smile again. I've not smiled like that infront of you for quite a while now. This November will be exactly Five years. I'm not asking for marriage now, or one or two years or three years etc time. All I ask is for you to think of me. Think of us. And ask yourself, do you love me more? Cos till now, I still remember that you said you want me more, and that you really love me. I love you too sayang. Believe me. Till the day you tell me that you've solved the case with her, I'll keep quiet. I really love you dear. I miss you. I miss us. Please trust me and us. Don't allow that one moment of scandal-ing destroy what we had all these years. |
 Allah Family, Dearest, Friends What more can I ask for? ♥ Designer/codes: AddictedLove Basecodes: Niszke Uzana |
